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Author: Nicole Czemeres

Friday Funny

A farmer named Clyde had a tractor accident. In court, the trucking company’s fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. “Didn’t you say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine,’?” asked the lawyer.

Clyde responded, “Well, I’ll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favorite cow, Bessie, into the…”

“I didn’t ask for any details”, the lawyer interrupted. “Just answer the question, …please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, ‘I’m fine!’?”

Clyde said, “Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer behind the tractor and I was driving down the road….”

The lawyer interrupted again and said, “Your Honor, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question.”

By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde’s answer and said to the lawyer, “I’d like to hear what he has to say about his favorite cow, Bessie”.

Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. “Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favorite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my John Deer Tractor right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn’t want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans.

Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, “How are you feeling?”

“Now tell me, what the heck would you say?”

Cattle Report – Nov 20

Cattle Market Update

For the Week Ending November 20, 2015

Canfax reported that a total of 37,750 head of cattle were sold in Saskatchewan this week, down from 42,142 head marketed the previous week. Prices were lower on general market weakness with lower feeder cattle demand in Western Canada. Canadian feeder cattle exports to the U.S. over the last eight weeks ending November 7, 2015 were down almost 75 per cent from 2014 and down almost 54 per cent from 2013; compared to the same eight week periods.

Saskatchewan feeder steer prices were lower over the week in all weight categories. Prices declined between $4.04 per cwt and $14.25 per cwt, from the previous week. The 800-900 lb. feeder steer weight category had the largest loss declining $14.25 per cwt. Feeder steer prices overall averaged almost $10 per cwt lower in the different weight categories.

Saskatchewan feeder heifer prices over the week were also lower in all weight categories. Feeder heifer prices over the week declined between $7.84 per cwt and $15.08 per cwt. The 700-800 lb. feeder heifer weight category had the largest loss declining $15.08 per cwt, with overall feeder heifer prices declining by over $11 per cwt on average over the week.

The Saskatchewan 750 lb. feeder steer basis compared to the November 19, 2015, U.S. feeder cattle index at US$174.39 per cwt was calculated at $2.82 per cwt (US$174.39/0.7493-$229.92), a basis widening (negative) of $2.00 per cwt from the basis of $0.82 per cwt the previous week.

 

Words to live by

Not RM related but thought it was good enough to share.  Some religion so if it doesn’t apply to use just modify it to what does.

1. Your shoes are the first thing people subconsciously notice about you. Wear nice shoes.
2. If you sit for more than 11 hours a day, there’s a 50% chance you’ll die within the next 3 years.
3. There are at least 6 people in the world who look exactly like you. There’s a 9% chance that you’ll meet one of them in your lifetime.
4. Sleeping without a pillow reduces back pain and keeps your spine stronger.
5. A person’s height is determined by their father, and their weight is determined by their mother.
6. If a part of your body “falls asleep”, You can almost always “wake it up” by shaking your head.
7. There are three things the human brain cannot resist noticing – food, attractive people and danger.
8. Right-handed people tend to chew food on their right side.
9. Putting dry tea bags in gym bags or smelly shoes will absorb the unpleasant odor.
10. According to Albert Einstein, if honey bees were to disappear from earth, humans would be dead within 4 years.
11. There are so many kinds of apples, that if you ate a new one every day, it would take over 20 years to try them all.
12. You can survive without eating for weeks, but you will only live 11 days without sleeping.
13. People who laugh a lot are healthier than those who don’t.
14. Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.
15. A human brain has a capacity to store 5 times as much information as Wikipedia.
16. Our brain uses the same amount of power as a 10-watt light bulb!!
17. Our body gives enough heat in 30 minutes to boil 1.5 liters of water!!
18. The Ovum egg is the largest cell and the sperm is the smallest cell!!
19. Stomach acid (conc. HCl) is strong enough to dissolve razor blades!!
20. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day & while you walk, SMILE. It is the ultimate antidepressant.
21. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
22. When you wake up in the morning, pray to ask God’s guidance for your purpose, today.
23. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
24. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, broccoli, and almonds.
25. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
26. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, energy vampires, issues of the past, negative thoughts and things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
27. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a college kid with a maxed out charge card.
28. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
29. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Forgive them for everything.
30. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
31. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
32. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
33. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
34. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
35. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years, will this matter?’
36. Help the needy, Be generous! Be a ‘Giver’ not a ‘Taker’
37. What other people think of you is none of your business.
38. Time heals everything.
39. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
40. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. Each night before you go to bed, pray to God and be thankful for what you accomplished, today. What if you woke up this morning and only had what you thanked God for yesterday? DON’T FORGET TO THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING.
43. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

RCMP Musical Ride local celebrity

Kyle Kifferling

RCMP Constable Kyle Kifferling is living the dream.

“Growing up on a farm near Southey I was always around RCMP members,” he said. “I always knew I wanted to be a police officer ever since I was small.”

When he was 16, he did a work experience placement at the local detachment that solidified the dream. As soon as he was finished high school he applied and within months he was at depot in Regina.

Fresh out of depot he was assigned to Bella Bella, a remote fly-in-only detachment  in British Columbia. From there it was off to Fort St. John, B.C. for two years where his boss was associated with the Musical Ride. It inspired Kifferling to apply.

“I wouldn’t say I was a rider,” he said. “Growing up in Saskatchewan, obviously, I’ve been on horses before, but not really knowing what I was doing.”

Ironically, most of the Mounted Police these days have rarely, if ever, ridden horses, but that’s nothing a rigourous training program can’t fix.

“It’s a long six months in the saddle,” Kifferling said. “They teach you from zero on up.”

The intensive preparation works.

“Doing my first show in red serge in front of a crowd, I had the butterflies at first, but once you get in there and the music gets going you settle down,” he said.

Kifferling is currently in his last year with the ride. The RCMP rotates members out after three years.

The Ride has been a very rewarding posting.

“First and foremost we are police officers,” he said. “When you’re interacting, most of the time it’s on a negative basis, responding to calls, fighting crime I guess is how you could put it, whereas the Ride is a good vehicle for us to have that connection with the public in a positive light. So going around Canada and into small communities and having that positive atmosphere is great for the RCMP.


– See more at: http://www.yorktonthisweek.com/entertainment/local-a-e/mounted-spectacle-pleases-ex-crowds-1.1995630#sthash.yet3nCwn.dpuf

Drainage Conference in Earl Grey

Drainage Conference Flyer for Earl Grey

Provincial Drainage –

Water Management Conference

A Realistic Approach To Water Management for Agriculture Producers

Monday, December 7, 2015

Earl Grey Hall

Earl Grey, Saskatchewan

9:30 am – Opening Remarks – Water Security Agency

9:45 am – New Water Security Agency Drainage Regulations

Doug Johnson, Manager of Integrated Water Services, Water Security Agency

10:30 am – Qualified Persons and Drainage Approvals – Julie McKenzie, PAg

11:00 am – Outline of the New Drainage Complaint Process

Dwayne Rowlett, Manager, Nipawin Water Security Agency Regional Office

12:00 pm – Lunch

1:00 pm – A producer’s prospective on the benefits of forming Conservation and Development Areas Charlie Templeton – Okabena Conservation and Development Area #176

1:30 pm – A Realistic Prospective on the Impact of Agriculture Drainage

TBD

2:00 pm – Connecting Rural Municipalities to Emergency Response Situations and the Provincial Disaster Assistance Program – Saskatchewan Ministry of Government Relations

2:45 pm – Coffee

3:00 pm – Available Funding for Agriculture Water Management Projects

TBD

3:30 pm – Emergency Flood Damage Control Program

Gary Neil – EFDP Program Manager Water Security Agency

Register for the Conference by contacting Colleen Fenning at 306-946-6533or email to [email protected] before NOVEMBER 30, 2015

Cost: $75 per person (includes lunch)

 

We Remember

Saskatchewan’s Fallen SoldiersWe pay tribute to the 11 soldiers with Saskatchewan ties who have been killed in the line of duty since the start of the Afghanistan mission.

Posted by Global Saskatoon on Thursday, 11 November 2010